In Love or Love In?

Where did the phrase “in love” come from? What does it really mean to “be in love”? I do not know how long the phrase has been around. But it eludes me. I’m not satisfied with how it is phrased and I suppose that could have something to do with what it has come to mean in my world: American, middle-class society.

If I really think back to when I first heard and learned the phrase, I could honestly say that it was since I was a baby. I don’t remember it specifically, however I know the phrase to have already been so common at that time, in the early 80’s. We most commonly hear it as “falling in love”. An action, describing something happening to a person and giving the image that it lands a person in a certain place and that place is love. And then there’s the variation of “being in love”. This gives the impression of a state of mind, once again another place that a person is in. What does that tell me though of how it is supposed to feel? What are the emotions associated with it and is it an emotion? Or could it be a place – a state of mind? Is it a combination of both?

What if we turned those phrases around? What if instead, we went around saying that we were “love in falling”? Or that I was “love in being”? Does it suggest more control on the part of the one in love? Or could it reveal that love exist completely aside from our actions and place? Could it imply that we can always have love, in all that we are and all that we are doing? Could it be that love is always with us? Or are there times in our lives when love is not there?

I googled some of these questions and I have to confess, that the results are too overwhelming for me to list them here or get in over my head beyond the curious thoughts I already entertain. Throughout the world love is associated with emotion and passion, good virtue and compassion, sex and affection, commitment and relationships, choice and the inevitable.

But I have no answers, only questions still. I think I will never stop wondering about what it means to “be in love” or “fall in love”. It must be and look different for each person and yet have a foundation and key elements that are beyond us and un-explainable. I hope it is un-explainable and not confined to my limited understanding. Yet, what could that one foundation be that proves love to be love?

And as scary as it is to put into writing, I will claim that so far it is looking a lot different from what I had thought and expected. This is what makes me want to re-phrase such a universal concept in my mind. Why not “love in being”? Why not “love in falling”? Why not “love in…”?


5 responses to “In Love or Love In?

  1. Truly, you amaze me with this one! your writing keeps on getting better each day. But the most wonderful thing about this particular article, is that every person can relate to it and I think they will find, as the years go by it is the continuous “searching” for what each of us thinks that “being in love”, “falling in love” is, or means. Maybe we find that it actually “changes” with time and hopefully our searching becomes for the more “meaningful” part of “love” altogether is in its many different forms, descriptions and most importantly “manifestations” of it that we are a part of and that are part of us. For the most part I wish you the best in this wonderful, wise and exciting journey of searching for the different meanings of “love” and I hope you experience its manifestations in all possible ways, places and forms in your life of the amazing “power” that it has in all creation, for we are but a fragment of that manifestation of the real love, which is by far, a whole lot more than “being in love”.

  2. If you want a whole other view on what “being in love” means, read the short book, “Marriage is a Loving Business” by Paul Hauck. It’ll flip your world upside down! 🙂

    • Very excited to read your recommendation. You always do recommend the best books Alison! Thanks so much and especially for your comment and reading the post. Hopefully I’ll be seeing you in LA in January sometime. I’ll keep you posted 🙂

  3. Amazing post you made here, it intrigues me!

    Being in love, I might belive is a state of mind, as you mentioned, a way of feeling and thinking. I know first hand I guess, cause im lucky to be engaged, and have been with my fiancé for almost four years now.. I think being in love, is like hovering in space. Awesome, remarkable, unique… Cant be decribed. 🙂

    Love this post!
    A follow and a like from me.
    Mia from Denmark.

    • Hi Mia! Wonderful to meet you and thank you so much for commenting on my post “In Love or Love In”. Your insight is much appreciated and your follow.
      I’m excited to get to know your blog as well. I just started a travel blog called Ethnos Travel for my upcoming travels as well. I saw that you’re from Denmark and I will be in Spain for the next couple weeks but back in Europe again Starting in April and looking to travel about Europe for 3-6 months. Would love to connect if possible.

      Thanks again and take care!

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