Here Comes April

Can you tell that it is coming?

Awakening just around the bend…

That season of life renewed and breaking free

A time for energy of regenerated surprise

It marks another year of my life

There is color and vibrancy ushered in

Like dancing into our lives as a lively girl

April twirls and glides about

With grace and gentleness such power springs forth

The sensations of birth and love

Even nature displays and enjoys

In all its tenderness such change comes about

With elation, with passion

April gives of love through life

Like a fire gives the warmth of light

Change is welcomed as pleasurable

When it is April that exudes its charms

An enchantment of grace-giving life born

That intoxicates us with mysterious awe

Enthralling while liberating

From fears and hibernating death

April is always coming,

Our receiving does not deem if it gives its best.

Quiet, Grey Morning…

It’s that quiet grey outside…

The kind that looks soft and is flat of light and color

Yet comforting and cozy in some way.

The trees are still bare and their branches naked and leafless.

The air is still with no breeze and only a slight chill.

It seems to be an easy state of weather, a lull in sensations…

Not overwhelming and loud, it’s energy balanced and even.

Quiet and hushed, gentle and welcoming.

Restful…it feels restful and at the same time alive.

My Head Versus My Heart – Contemplating Emotions

In the past months I have received advice to “get out of your head, Amalia, and live more from your heart”. After checking this against my own values and who I know myself to be, I agreed with the advice. Even the first sounds of it resonated with me because experiences in my life have been teaching me that it’s important to not forget my heart. In my teen years, I went the route of trusting my head (I will also refer to it here as the mind) and was very leery of my heart. To get to the point quicker, I didn’t trust my heart and thought that was the best route to go…to not trust myself, to not trust my heart, and to deny myself. Also twisted into this was the association of my emotions with my heart, thus my poor heart and emotions were labeled as a problem child, a sure way of getting hurt and failing in life. The result? I deprived and shut out my heart and fought against my emotions, rather than allowing them to work for me.

There is nothing like the romantic, love relationship of our life to help us see things about our self that are not fun or pretty to see, yet is so needed and so good for us. I recently got engaged and after a couple recent disagreements with my loving fiance (okay, we can call them what they were…full on fights), I am even more in love with him and my self than before. How I came out on the other side secure in that love, was by seeing what I can learn and change for my self. One of the powerful lessons I learned that I am writing about here, is about better understanding my emotions by getting to know them: what they look like, where they live in me, what they are telling me about myself, and how I can enjoy them in a way that serves me and others best.

I don’t know about you, but for most of my life so far I have pictured my emotions as living in my heart. After all, most of our world and my American society, relate the heart with love and we see love as an emotion. With that in mind, we also know anger, fear, hurt, joy, peace, and many other feelings as an emotion. When I looked up the definition of emotion, I felt I had to be a psychologist or scientist to understand the blend of words being words. It was a bit overwhelming and didn’t seem practical for my use. Heck, I even went so far as to start writing about the definition right here and now in this post. Then I erased it all because I realized, I’m not here to get technical about this; I’m here to write about this from the heart; from my heart.

Plain and simple, I know it’s important to listen to both my head and my heart. Balance is important to maintain in this. My emotions are wonderful aspects of me and it helps me to picture their home as my head, my mind. This doesn’t mean that they are not found in my heart as well. I picture it sort of like emotions visiting my heart from my mind. They’re a powerful link between all the different aspects of my physical and spiritual self, revealing themselves in feelings and interacting with thoughts.

So what does this all mean about getting out of my head so much and living from my heart more? For me, it’s in understanding my emotions and using my imagination to picture where they live and come from. This helps me to have the right picture and understanding of my heart and my mind as well. Rather than going to an extreme of choosing the mind or the heart, I hold the power to tell my mind or heart and emotions thank you in all circumstances. In cases like this, appreciation is key when it is followed through with direction. Some situations may look like this: I can thank my mind for it’s hard work in looking after me, but at this time, it can relax and allow my heart to lead.

Practices like this bring to light that what is in our minds and hearts is also important to be conscious of. Is there love in my heart? Love for myself and therefore love for others? Is there trust there in my heart? Is it fear that I am feeling and should I take make my choices and act out of that emotion? And remember, there is a difference between reacting from our emotions and expressing them with self-ownership.

I’m finding it very helpful for myself when I remember that emotions are to be appreciated, even thanked by me. Perhaps this is part of the process of choosing what role my emotions play in my actions. Whether they’re pleasant, positive emotions like love and peace, or if they’re hard, ugly emotions, like anger and fear, I can listen to them and give them their due time to be, before I then let it go and move on. Most importantly, I think that my emotions will always tell me the most about my self and another person’s emotions will tell them the most about their self. Emotions all hold the same power…the power that we give them.

St. Patrick’s Day in Your Town

Today is the day…the green day! St. Patrick’s Day is more than just parades, yet in my mind that is one of the best parts of the festivities. My family and are I enjoying a day in downtown Denver. Our friend Tom will be playing the Irish drums at The Irish Snug on Colfax in Denver around 3pm, so that will be our one place that are scheduled to be at. Otherwise, we’re staying loose and fancy-free so we can be outside and hop in and out between all the fun bars that will be celebrating the Irish holiday.

What will you be doing for St. Patrick’s Day? Do you think your city or town does a good job providing festivities for the day? Share your comments and links here so others can enjoy the green fun. And don’t forget to pinch anyone who’s not wearing green…it’s the rule!

Spring Can Be So Sneaky…

Interesting…how the season of spring can be pretty sneaky. I mean, think about it; one day it’s below freezing and snow is on the ground or falling from the sky or both, and the next day, it’s 70 degrees outside and the high heels and sleeveless dresses are donned for wearing. Today is that day. A sneaky spring day. I’ve sat in the sun with a cool breeze raising some goosebumps here and there, but otherwise, it’s warm and alive outside. The leaves rustling in the wind are dry and crackling and otherwise the tree branches are bare and silent, yet the sun can be felt and the air can be directly lying on my skin without a layer of clothing needed in between.

This is the sneaky-ness of spring. Or perhaps we can call it the surprise of spring. I am really liking the season of Spring. For most of my life so far I’ve favored the summer season. Now I am thinking that spring may be my new favorite time of year. I’ll admit that my birthday in April may have something to do with this, yes. At the same time, I can honestly attribute my excitement and joy of spring for what the season embodies and brings.

After months of cold air that requires multiple layers of clothing bundled on one’s self, there is a liberating sensation from the warmth that calls us to shed those articles of clothing. No longer are the layers needed on days like spring days. Even with the lingering tinges of cold in the breeze, the magical touch of life is what is so invigorating. It is as if the unseen shoots of grass and yet-to-bud blossoms of flowers and leaves, are speaking to us and reaching out to us, even before they can be seen.

That is what it so magical about it…it is the season of things unseen. What has long been dormant is now awakening and coming to life, even before we can see it with our eyes. Along with seedlings and shoots, grasses and trees, we feel and hear the call of spring to wake up! Grow from your roots…it seems to tell us. Reach out and break through your limits…as the energy gives us the power to extend ourselves. 

Yes, a harsh snowy blizzard may yet visit. Even freezing temperatures are sure to come. But if there is any one thing that I want to learn from the season of spring, it is this:

It is never premature to break free and live with the energy of growth…to live to our fullest and be alive in our own blossoming way. For things are always changing. And if it is death that seems to be in our presence, it is only a prelude to even more life to come. 



My eyes feel heavy,

My head hangs low,

This body is weary,

But the heart even more so

I’m ‘o so tired…

It courses through all of me

And shocking above all

Is how double worn my spirit seems

Why do I write of these emotions?

Of when things are hard and sad

Why do I pour out my heart in writing

When my world seems to be going mad

I would rather master sharing my happiness

Embrace putting words to joy

Even if I am tired, may I see past me

And share hope along with sorrow

Yet I do not stop here, I have other thoughts

Why rush me to not be tired?

Why bug me to move on?

Leave me be to feel my emotions

Give me space to face them in me

For only then can I let go of them

Only then can I move on to be free

With being real about what I’m feeling

I can have compassion for myself and you

I can relate to when others are down or happy

I can be in the moment, whether joyful or blue