Our Ideas and Differences

In the book “Love Without Conditions“, there is a chapter towards the end that is called The Death of the Ego. Here are a few lines that inspire and resonate with me…

People identify with thoughts that they think. If you want to communicate with people, find a way to acknowledge and include their ideas. Then, when you express your own ideas, it will be easier for others to acknowledge them. People will never be able to be together peacefully until their ideas can dwell together without competition. To accept another person’s idea, even when you don’t with it, is to extend to him respect and trust.

Dwelling together in peace requires that you see what links you to others, not what separates you. If you what links you, you will respect your differences. If you see what separates you, you will try to overcome those differences. The attempt to overcome differences invariably fails. That is because differences are healthy. As long as they are respected, they do not interfere with the potential for intimacy and cordial relations between people.

Always give another the space to be different. Then you will not be avoiding intimacy with him. If you feel that you need to become like him to be accepted by him or that he needs to become like you to be accepted by you, you are trying “to overcome” the differences. Just let the differences be. You are acceptable as you are, and so is he. Peace remains in your heart and in his. Everything is fine.

“Love Without Conditions” by Paul Ferrini, pages 146 – 147

What are some ideas that you have, that you do not share because of fear that others will not accept them? Have you shared them, only to experience people not accepting them and thus felt like they were not accepting you?

Speaking from my own personal experience, I also see how many times, I am not accepting my own ideas within myself. This seems to create a cycle where I live in fear of sharing my ideas, pursuing them, and accepting and including the ideas of others. How do I expect others to accept me and my ideas, when I do not even accept them myself?

When I think about this, it also helps me to see differences in a loving light. What would you say is the usual response to differences? I would say that in our world the response to differences is usually fear. It is okay that fear is there…it means that the opportunity of courage is also there. At times when I am afraid, I practice kindness to myself, rather than beating myself up for being afraid. Then a magical transformation seems to take place and I walk through the fear and see it morph into courage. In this space of courage, differences are shown for what they are…creativeness, magic, uniqueness and self-expressiveness. And we can be together with all of our differences and ideas, without fear and instead with love.

Sharing “Our Deepest Fear”

There is a great approach to ourselves by writer Marianne Williamson, that I want to share here on my blog. I hope it provokes you to wonder about your greatest fear and that it speaks to you wherever you are a this moment in your life. Enjoy!

“Our Deepest Fear” by Marianne Williamson (from her book “A Return to Love“)

Our deepest fear is not that we’re inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Continue reading

Courageous Love

Courage is not the absence of fear

For fear will still be around

Yet to step out and move forward

In the face of that fear

Is what bravery is all about

We may still tremble and we will quake

The other direction we will look to take

Then love draws our gaze back

Hope considers risk

Pain must still be felt, compassion achieved

And we never lose if we have it guide us

By the hands of love

Rather than into the prison of fear

For fear teaches us it is meaningful

That there is something amazing at stake

It ignites within a depth of life

That being willing to lose is not a mistake

For to experience, to really live

Is to love even if love is one day lost

To love even if love is not returned

So we are ready for recognizing, accepting

That gift of lasting love that is present

We will know fear then in truth and awareness

And bravely be open of ourselves and others

To love beyond this world…

A love that is courageous


The Spontaneity Challenge!

My trip had a special element to it – spontaneity. I was finishing up a week of skiing in Breckenridge when my dear friend Manda Morris came up Thursday evening to join me for skiing later in the weekend. She made it up from Denver just before the “huge” snow storm hit. Thing is…the storm only pounded Denver with two feet of snow and we got nada in the mountains! So there we are Friday morning doing our first run of the day in Keystone and it’s all ice! We turned in for the day and while enjoying a beer at lunch, Manda and I saw the snow report for Taos…hhmmm…they got snow! And they were still getting snow!

That solved it…an hour later we were in her SUV and driving the 5 hours to Taos, New Mexico! The weekend was my first visit to Taos, first time skiing their mountains, and first time road-tripping with Manda. You can read the story of the trip in my other blog www.EthnosTravel.wordpress.com, but in this post I want to focus on another aspect of the trip: being challenged in what we really want out of life and who we claim to be. Now hang in there with me…maybe this is getting deep for you, which if that’s the case, this may not be the blog for you to enjoy. Thanks for trying though.

But for those of you intrigued and feeling the starting twinges of familiarity within you…well, you’re reading the right blog and relating with some similar people.

So the story goes like this – just a week before I acted out this last-minute trip to Taos, I had written a blog post about Being Synonymous with Spontaneity (click here to enjoy please). Have you ever found that when you start to really chase after what you want out of life, you can be challenged in that? It’s almost like life is saying…”Oh, so you want this and you’re going after it…okay, let’s see how serious you are about that…”. And the doors start to open, while others close, all the while carrying you on what seems like a rafting trip down the Grand Canyon. You better make sure you paddle hard so the current takes you where you want to go rather than washing you up on some shore far from your desired destination. And hey, doesn’t staying in the raft safe and dry (of course, you’re still gonna get somewhat splashed and wet), sound good for the journey as well?

“Where are you going with this Amalia?”, you may be asking by now…to this point – I believe all things can be used as opportunities for us to really go after what we want in life. We pretty much have no excuse and we’re ultimately responsible for ourselves. So what you want will seem to be challenged and at the same time encouraged and the biggest thing I’m learning about it all? Here it is…I’m the one who can turn away from it, the one who can choose fear and the illusion of security rather than take up myself and life on what I really want out of life.

This trip taught me about that. Because there I was at lunch with Manda, having just come off of skiing ice and now comfy and warm, when Manda excitedly suggested we take off spontaneously for Taos, and I hesitated! I started to come up with excuses, to feel apathetic and lazy about it! Thankfully, Manda served me up with the wake-up call question of “Didn’t you just write a blog post about being Synonymous with Spontaneity?” Uh…yeah, I had and there I was with a chance to back away from the ledge or…take a leap off the edge. Good thing I took that leap because I enjoyed several new first experiences and also came to learn, we can come equipped with parachutes! Or gliders or bungee cords…whatever your imagination fancies for the leap that helps you overcome the challenges that you will surely face in pursuing what you want out of your life.

Here’s to happy jumping and when you see me around next, feel free to raise that challenging question. I’ll do the same for you.