Life Comes So Fast

Astounding and shocking

In the blink of an eye

You may miss it, not see it

If you’re walking quickly by

As winter melts to spring

And spring births new life

One day the branches are bare

The next, full of lush green life

They may start small

But new shoots are the brightest green

As if shouting for joy

We’re here! It is spring!

The energy of all nature

It grows and flows, it sings

What a dance it displays

A fast intense dance of living things

Then branches are dressed

Flowers brightly bloom

Every sense is come alive

From eye’s delight to fragrance swoon

For life is so full

It’s thriving with fierce speed

To birth, to grow,

From even a seed

Like seeing clouds in the sky

They seem to pass so slow

Yet we know in the heavens

They’re racing speed is an intense flow

Life is meant to move

Can you feel it? Do you see it?

The beauty of contrast

When we don’t resist

To let go and be still

Knowing we’re still moving

Allowing and accepting

To go with the flow, we’ll grow

It carries us if we let it…

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My Definition of Self-Discipline…and Other Terms Done My Way!

We’re each going to have different associations with words and terms. I believe it’s based off of our individual and unique experiences throughout life. All in all, it comes down to our perspective and even that changes and evolves as we live and grow, as we feel certain ways versus another. Let’s not forget society’s role in all this…the society and culture we grew up in and live in now is definitely half the cause of why we relate to terms and life as we do. In my endless desire to live my life authentically and fully, I have recently developed my own definitions for a couple of terms that I find were just a real drag to me before.  I put a lot of meaning into words, written or spoken…must be that writer’s heart in me. Here are just a couple of words that I’m adopting new meanings for. Continue reading

Less Than an Atom


We are each really nothing, worth less than an atom…

Is what the man sitting across from me said…

From there, I heard everything he said

But began to witness someone trying to believe what he himself had discredited…

Man is so primitive,” he continued, “trained up and educated to hate and kill…”

The more he talked, the more horribly it fit together, it just did not connect,

Yet his words sounded familiar…I have heard them spoken and believed by others.

One remark had discredited all his other beliefs,

Even what he was trying to impress me with of his life…

His pictures of poor children he saw when visiting the Himalayas,

The theories and rational of his economic opinions he insisted on as truths,

Even up to his political assertions that lacked relativity,

Of no use for feeding the hungry people he was talking about – all talk.

Like an hourglass cracked and spilling out its sand…

It’s only a matter of seconds to see that all his other beliefs

Cannot be held together even by his own attempts.

Foolish, faulty, and contradictory is what came to my mind.

His passion behind his words, his emotional fervor and energy,

As he went on and on talking at me, rather than with me…

And no wonder…after all, we’re worth less than an atom, in his mind.

My few replies were never finished, he interrupted them all.

Until I finally managed to get out the words,

Why do you even care about all you just said so passionately?

About all the judgments you make and all that you think you know?

After all, according to you we all just amount to nothing…

You say we imagine God and create God as an idea,

As our own futile attempt to believe we mean something,

Our primitive nature to believe we’re special and there’s meaning to our life…

You have said all these things and that you believe that we’re worth less than an atom.”

Now, I respect differences and agree to disagree,

I may believe in God and you may not believe in God…

Yet where do you go with the belief that we’re worth nothing?

What devaluing of human life, what disregard for hope…

How embarrassing for this educated and traveled, lonely middle-aged man.

Just one belief, one principle, a thought or claim is all it takes…

For one to spout notions, to base one’s life and theories,

Into a foundation that is full of holes like a strainer…

It can hold no hope, no respect, no integrity or wisdom…

I felt deeply sad, looking at this man, seeing insecurity from deep inside he was trying to hide…

I felt tired, hearing his words go on and on in his self-battle of denial and desperate attempt to…

To not be lonely, to mean something…to mean something to someone.

And it dawned on me – I was looking into the face of the foolishness and ignorance that starts wars,

I was sitting across from the spirit of blinding hatred…

It disguises itself, even to its empty unknowing host, and wreaks genocide and death.

This is how it happened in the past, this is how it looks and sounds when it embodies,

This is how it can repeat itself and be carried out all over again…


Conflict and Peace

I feel conflicted.

Not quite there and not quite here…

Discomfort and lost-ness is most apparent.

Like I’m gliding through the air and about to fall out of the sky.

I can accept that there will always be things unknown…

There are simply certain things I want to get right…

A kind of life I would like to have and a person I want to be.

These conflicts, this unease…it may be uncomfortable,

Yet necessary and worth it in my effort to live deeply.

Questions can be scary and they involve a risk…

Once that door is opened, our wanderings are set loose.

Deeper and deeper I could sink into this,

Then something simple comes to my mind…

Relax, Amalia…relax. And enjoy this ride of life.

Because despite my thoughts, all things still exist…

And I can be busy living my life,

Alongside these questions and conflicts.

With their existence it also means,

That peace exists for me to feel.

Being Synonymous with Spontaneity

What comes to mind when you think of the word “spontaneous”? I personally like the word and I’ve come to believe that it likes me. Missing out on experiences, especially ones shared with people, is one of my fears in life. I guess you could call it a fear. Or it can be better said that I simply do not like missing out on experiences with people. So I welcome spontaneity and jump on every opportunity I get when it comes my way. Most of the time I go out and make my own opportunities in the meantime. No sense in just sitting around and waiting for life to come our way.

To get a better look at this, let’s get the technical side over with: the word synonymous is defined as 1) “having the character of a synonym; also: alike in meaning or significance.” and 2) “Having the same connotations, implications, or reference.”. Now to the more exciting word, spontaneity is defined as 1) “the quality or state of being spontaneous.” (that makes sense) and 2) “voluntary or undetermined action or movement”.

I correlate spontaneity with words and phrases like “last-minute” and “flexible” and “living life to the fullest”. What do you correlate the word with? What other words and let’s say even feelings are for you, synonymous with spontaneity?

Life is full of great opportunities for spontaneity. Like this week…I was offered a free ski-in/ski-out condo in Breckenridge for practically the whole week! It came up pretty last-minute and I am so excited to have jumped on the opportunity and enjoyed such a fun time. Now, don’t even start in on your negative, beat-life-down thoughts like “well, you have the schedule” or “you have the money” or “those things are possible only for people like you”…I’m so tired of people who so quickly respond like that. Watch out for yourself and perhaps next time you think like that, maybe even this time, take a good hard look at why you respond like. So now I’ll move on from that soapbox of mine.

Getting back to spontaneity…I’m realizing that it gives us the opportunity to be comfortable with change and accepting of the reality that we cannot control life. To be spontaneous, one has to exhibit attributes of flexibility, openness, little control, and being relaxed and having a good attitude…the list could go on and on. What I want to point out is how those attributes are great things to have in one’s life, aren’t they? Would you not want to have those in your life and want for others in your life who affect you to have those attributes? Another great thing about spontaneity is that we can welcome it as opportunities that come our way and we can go out and create it ourselves. So it’s like receiving gifts in life and then at other times, like going out and making life happen for yourself. That jives with my life. Does it jive with yours?